Forgotten Memories
by For My Personal Pleasure
Summary: So, basically, this is taking place during Destined, before Kalona decides to turn good. Rephaim has been having strange flashback-like dreams of forgotten memories of him as a kid, back when he was still a Raven Mocker. Read and Review! (Picture from Google Images-Dream Catchers. I do not own it!)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello:) This is my first FanFic so I'm sorry if it's awful or anything else. This FanFic consists of characters from the House of Night series. I hope you guys really like this idea I've had for like EVER so please read this and tell me what you think!:)**

**Disclaimer: I absolutely DO NOT OWN the House of Night Series or it's marvelous characters!**

**-RephaimStevieRae**

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Memories flashed by on the back of his eyelids like scenes from a movie, quick but meaningful. They caught him and pulled him into their kind embrace. The past experiences were suffocating yet loose, rough yet gentle, hateful yet loving.

Rephaim turned over in his sleep. Even sleeping, he was still careful not to disturb the snoring Stevie Rae beside him. They had fallen asleep in their room watching a movie alone. Dawn was still only a couple hours away but that week had been long, dragging by slowly. Friday was a day Rephaim cherished. It signaled the ending of the school week and the beginning of the weekend. During the weekend, they lounged around in comfortable clothing and watched their favorite tv shows, went out to the movie theater to watch the new films and eat snacks all day, or, usually on every Sunday, go out and pick up supplies for the upcoming week.

There was a streak of lightning at the edge of his mind, dragging him to another setting.

This one showed him in his youngest years as a Raven Mocker, flying through the lush forest near the Cherokee village in which Kalona and his younger brothers had claimed as theirs. Rephaim revealed to be only seven years old, barely a decade, during this particular event.

He watched on the side lines as the younger version of himself stifled joyous chuckles as he continuously blasted through the boughs of trees, sending green leaves raining down to the forest floor. It was early summer, the fruit fresh and ripe, the flowers and trees bright and full of life, the birds and the other woodland animals happy and energetic. Rephaim flew through the slim braches, barely being able to squeeze between the tight spaces.

He was content, not happy. No, never happy. Father had forbiddened happiness, calling it foolish and only lies. He had told him and his younger brothers that happiness was not real, it was only an allusion, false feelings. Kalona had told them that feelings and emotions were pointless and made you weak.

So it was fear that Rephaim had felt when one thrilled laugh burst out of him. Frightened of his father overhearing him, Rephaim had looked around nervously, only to find nothing. Shrugging, he continued to glide through the thick forest, envying the never-ending peace it possessed, knowing that he would never get to experience such a blessed thing.

The closest thing he came to peace was flying solo. He was never able to do that since his brothers were born. His father had instructed him to watch out for them, teach them their ways, protect them against the men in the village who hated Kalona.

Rephaim pushed away the dreadful reminder of his many brothers and abusive father and allowed the soothing breeze and nature sounds to carry him someplace far away.

_"Rephaim!"_

Kalona had shouted from the village, loud enough to be heard clearly from the forest.

But, caught up in the bliss of flying and the serenity of the forest, Rephaim could not hear him. Nor could he hear the distinct rumbling of thunder overhead.

He continued to fly, adoring the feeling of the wind, which had cooled off consideringly, under his wings and against the feathers of his body.

_"Rephaim, my son! To me!"_

Again, Rephaim did not hear his father shout to him. But he did notice the crack of lightning flash across the sky through the spaces between the trees. The shock of the sudden light caused him to falter and lose his steady glide. He stumbled to the ground, rolling head over heel into a rose bush.

Rain began to fall in big splashes onto the ground. It was falling heavier by the minute, causing the forest around him to grow larger and darker. The drops of water soaked into his feathers and the icy wind chilled him to the bone.

The lightning stretched along the black clouds in the sky, glaring down at the thick woods. It's bright light gave the forest a sinister feel to it. It made the shadows of the trees and bushes around him grow, stretching towards him, reaching out. The thunder boomed loudly, vibrating through Rephaim's frozen bones.

Terrified beyond belief, Rephaim began to fight his way out of the rose bush. The thorns tore into the skin on his arms and legs, blood beading instantly, and tugged onto his feathers. He became engulfed by the bush and the terror of the storm. His father had warned him about the cruelty of storms, how they were not to be challenged. It was dangerous, even for Kalona, to fly during one, for risk of being struck by lightning.

More rain poured down on him, melting into the once solid ground and transforming it into slick mud. Somewhere nearby lightning struck, sending a horrid tremor through the earth. The erie shadows were closing in on him, threatening him to pull him to his death. He kicked and swatted at the thorns and matted branches of the shrub, trying desperately to flee back to the safety of his father and brothers.

Though Kalona was an angry, revengeful immortal and was short tempered and abusive towards all of his children, he protected them. He kept them safe, maybe without even realizing it. His father had killed dozens of men from the village to keep them safe.

_"Father! Help me!" _Rephaim cried, on the brick of scared sobs.

The dense and creepy shadows were closer to him now, cackling at his terror, tugging gently on his ankles.

_"No! Stay away from me!"_

Kicking and weeping, he fought against the darkness of the horrifying forest and the death threat of the storm.

Above him, there was a swift black motion of something big flying in the sky. But Rephaim didn't notice it. He was too busy struggling to escape the trapping snare of the bush and the vile shadows.

_"Rephaim? Why did you not return to me when I called to you?"_

The deep voice of his father broke through the panic he was feeling. He felt instant relief and relaxed but the tears did not stop.

_"I was flying and I did not hear you, Father. I am s-sorry." _Rephaim choked back the alarmed wails that still claimed control of his throat.

Concern crossed the immortal's face as he crouched down beside him. _"Here. Let me help you, usd-ta-tsu-wa."_

Every tense muscle in Rephaim's body relaxed at the name. Only a few times had Kalona ever called his sons this. Whenever one of them was injured or couldn't sleep well, Kalona would somewhat ease their worry by calling them _usd-ta-tsu-wa_, or baby raven.

He allowed his father to pull him out of the bush, breaking off some of the thick twigs that stubbornly buried themselves in his flesh. He brushed the clinging leaves from his black feathers, making soothing sounds as Rephaim sobbed.

_"There." _He remained squatted down in front of his eldest son. _"Better?"_

Hesitantly, Rephaim nodded, wiping his face roughly with the backs of his already wet hands. The rain was not helping at all.

_"Then why do you still weep?"_

Rephaim looked to where the shadows laid stretched out on the grass. They had receded at the presence of his father to only coat the bottoms of the immortal's toes.

_"The shadows." _He answered vaguely, feeling stupid as to why he was feeling so shaken.

Kalona laughed cruelly and stood before him, towering over his son. _"Do not fear them, Rephaim. They are our friends."_

_"Then why am I afraid of them so?" _Rephaim questioned, his gaze transferring to the cursed rose bush.

The immortal shrugged, not answering his son. _"Now, let us be on our way back to the village. Your brothers are hungry, as am I."_

He started to walk ahead of him, back to where the hut they claimed waited. He was a few yards away when he noticed Rephaim was still observing the shrub that had imprisoned him.

_"Rephaim, let us go. Your brothers are waiting. I will not be responsible for the mess they will make if we keep them waiting." _Kalona snapped, his irritation growing.

Still looking back at the bush, Rephaim caught up to his father. His eyes were focused on one single white rose that was in full bloom, dotted by the millions of raindrops that still dropped from the sky.

_"What are you gawking at?"_

_"Father, I did not think that beautiful things could be so painful." _Rephaim whispered, in awe and fear.

The immortal stayed silent for a long time, allowing the rain to beat down on both of them. The thunder still growled menacingly but Rephaim no longer feared it, for he was safe with his father.

_"Do not forget that, Rephaim. Beauty is equivalent to pain as pain is to beauty. For if you do, you shall be doomed for a life of agony."_

He let his father's wise and knowing words sink into him, absorbing the past pain Kalona continued to suffer from. Suffer from what? Rephaim did not know.

_"I promise that I will not, Father." _Rephaim bowed his head in his vow.

Another silence hung between them. It wasn't until they were outside the glowing hut, radiating heat from the tamed fire within, did Kalona speak once more.

_"It is not wise to make promises you cannot keep." _Then he slipped inside, leaving Rephaim standing wordlessly out in the rain.

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**So, please review! I hope you guys like it as much as I do! I am so glad I can finally put this out there for you guys to see and read it:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys:) I just wanna tell ya guys real quick on how much I appreciate the reviews! I'm really glad you like my idea about Rephaim's dream/memory thing:) And since you guys want me to update, I guess I'll add another chapter! This one took me a while to come up with so it might suck a lot but at least I tried:) This will be my ****_FOURTH _****time trying to upload this onto here. :'c So, onto the story, but first, my special thanks and the disclaimer.**

**Special Thanks to:**

**SmilesSaveLives**

**and**

**NataONE**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night Series or its gorgeous characters. They belong to P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

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**_Stevie Rae_**

Bits and pieces of alien images drifted through her mind. She didn't recognize anything about them, except one thing. The forest was different, greener than you would normally see nowadays. The sky was brighter, bluer even. The smells were even stronger than she could imagine.

Everything about the short clips was amazing. The only downside to them was the quick blur of the motion picture before she was engulfed with the sleepy blackness.

They were strange though. Usually she didn't dream of things like this. Lately, probably due to all the dang stress she was under, she was experiencing multiple _what-if_-nightmares. If she wasn't being tortured by them, she was reliving past horrors. These, though. They were definitely weird.

Stevie Rae trailed her fingers over the moist moss-covered tree trunk, admiring the serenity of the forest. There was the usual chirping of several different types of birds, bubbling water of a nearby stream, chattering of noisy bugs and critters. Behind her, there was an unmistakably recognizable burst of laughter. Curious, her eyes were drawn upward to see the leaves rain down all around her as a small dark body dashed through the branches of the tree she was touching.

_"Rephaim!"_

Stevie Rae didn't think much of what the voice was demanding when she heard it. She knew instantly by the power behind it who it was, though she loathed to admit it. Through the joy and peace she was feeling from the comfort and security of the surrounding forest, Stevie Rae felt a twinge of anger. _Now why on earth is he interruptin' my dream? _her mind growled.

Just as she was about to roll her eyes in annoyance, the blackness coated her vision again. She could still hear what was going on but she couldn't see a thing. In the back of her mind, she wondered why she didn't feel freaked out by the thought of her not being able to see anything. _Eh, maybe I'm finally goin' crazy. It's 'bout time after the crap I've been through_.

She started walking forwards, her feet lifting and stepping over nonexistent things. It was weird; she could still feel the spongy moss carpet and the smooth grass blanket against her bare feet. It was hard for her to tell if it was because she was still in the same dream or if she had drifted off into oblivion and had connected to her element somehow. Stevie Rae shrugged, picking option number two.

Causing her to jerk in shock and fear, thunder rolled over her head and a crack of lightning whipped around her and yanked her back into the dream. Her eyes widened in startled surprise. The scenery had darkened considerably. The trees loomed dangerously over her, making her feel small and scared, the pretty blue sky had morphed into a terrifying navy blue. She could see the thunder clouds rolling quickly. Lightning was performing bright light shows across the sky. The air that had once been balmy and warm was now cold and chilly.

Shivering, Stevie Rae saw the small dark body from earlier crash to the ground and roll into the tangled mess of green leaves and thorns at her feet.

Through the thick branches and twigs of the rosebush, she could make out small dark wings and bright red terrified eyes. Arms and legs of a child thrashed everywhere, struggling to get free. She could see tears mix with the heavy drops of rain that plummeted from the sky.

_"Father, help me!" _The tiny creature cried out in despair.

With a jolt, Stevie Rae understood. This was not her dream. She was visiting one of Rephaim's memories. This creature sobbing in fear and fighting to break out of the dangerous bush was Rephaim.

She watched in awe as the child version of Rephaim wept and strained to be free. The sharp thorns cut into his arms and legs and pulled on his feathers. In the corner of her eye, the shadows of the threatening trees reached out for him, wriggling in delight at his suffering.

_Stop! Leave him alone! _Stevie Rae shouted in distress. It was useless, though. No one heard her, the shadows still slithered toward him.

_"No! Stay away from me!"_

Rephaim batted the thorn-covered twigs in anguish, echoing her yell. His arms and legs moved more frantically, pulling the thick bush apart to try to get out, kicking at the shadows. His fear mingled with hers as she watched helplessly. She knew deep in her aching heart that she couldn't help her love. This was only a memory after all.

The shadows were licking and tugging on his ankles now. Stevie Rae felt the burn of tears in her eyes. A swift body, large and black, flew above the scene. Not wanting to take her eyes off of Rephaim, for fear the shadows would win and pull him away, she glanced up to see who it was.

Later, if anyone ever found out about what she was watching, if someone to ask her about it she would deny it completely. Her heart jumped to her throat in relief at the sight of the immortal, framed by raindrops and lighting flashes.

Another wave of complete darkness took her away.

_"Rephaim? Why did you not return to me when I called to you?"_

She could hear Kalona ask sharply in annoyance. Her relief dried instantly.

Then her sight was given back to her unexpectedly. She looked at Rephaim to see his eyes, tinted scarlet, flicker up to his father. Her heart squeezed at the joy and trust in his gaze, but still dark with fear.

_"I was flying and I did not hear you, Father. I am s-sorry."_ His voice was tense from held back sobs.

Then something happened that completely shocked Stevie Rae and changed the way she saw the immortal for the rest of her life.

Concern transformed his hardened expression as he gazed down at his eldest son in the tangled mess, bleeding and sobbing. Slowly, Kalona bended at his knees with his arms extended carefully.

_"Here. Let me help you, usd-ta-tsu-wa." _His voice was hushed but still audible through the raging storm.

_Usd-ta-tsu-what? _Stevie Rae wondered curiously. She made a mental note to ask either Rephaim or Zoey about it later.

When Rephaim was standing out of the rose bush, Kalona remained kneeled in front of him, silently picking the stubborn twigs off of him. His amber eyes weren't frozen and cold like she remembered, they were soft and caring.

_"There. Better?" _He asked Rephaim, who was trying to wipe the tears from his face.

Rephaim nodded, still crying but the tears had slowed somewhat. _"Then why do you still weep?"_

Stevie Rae felt a surge of irritation when her vision blacked out again.

_"The shadows."_

She heard him answer his father. Without even looking at him, or being able to look at him, she could tell he felt stupid for giving him such a lame answer.

Kalona laughed coldly and there was a slight shuffling noise. _"Do not fear them, Rephaim. They are our friends."_

_"Then why am I afraid of them so?" _Through the pounding of the rain and the booming of the thunder, his voice sounded distant and small.

Her sight returned to her in time for her to see Kalona shrug halfheartedly and turn. _"Now, let us be on our way back to the village. Your brothers are hungry, as am I."_

The image of them slowly began to appear misty, as though fog was being blown onto the scene. The immortal began to walk in front of Rephaim, who was gazing intently at a white rose.

Stevie Rae blinked and suddenly she was sitting in the nest of rose bush, cupping the rose gently in both of her hands. It looked so frail and perfect that it didn't seem real. She could feel the smooth texture of its pure white petals and the cool wetness of the millions of raindrops still dropping from the sky.

_"Rephaim, let us go. Your brothers are waiting. I will not be responsible for the mess they will make if we keep them waiting." _The immortal turned when he noticed he was not being followed. Rephaim was still staring into the white rose, curious. His father's voice made him turn and follow after him, his eyes locked on the flower.

_"What are you gawking at?" _Kalona snapped at Rephaim, causing his son to jump.

_"Father, I did not think that beautiful things could be so painful." _Rephaim whispered in awe and fear.

For the last time, the memory was engulfed in blackness. It wasn't sharp and sudden, leaving Stevie Rae confused and irritated. The fog had thickened slowly, making them look more like blobs of color and disfigured shapes, and darkened until she could see no more.

_"Do not forget that, Rephaim. Beauty is equivalent to pain as pain is to beauty. For if you do, you shall be doomed for a life of agony."_

_"I promise that I will not, Father."_

There was another silence between the two. All she could here was the pattering of rain, the thunder had eased, and the faint splashing of their bare feet against the mud puddles.

_"It is not wise to make promises you cannot keep."_

Then, Stevie Rae was lost. Lost in the murky darkness of sleep and the confusion of what she just watched. But her confusion didn't last long. It faded from her almost instantly, allowing her to be free of it, if only temporarily.

. . . . . .

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**So...? I hope you guys like this one. It was a little hard to find a place to start off with for this chapter but I got it:) I'm also thinking about uploading another story onto here, too! It's one I've been working on for a while. I'm not sure how long this will be for sure but I'll try not to disappoint you! Please review; tell me what you think, what you like, what you don't like, ANYTHING! Thanks so much for your earlier reviews!**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again:) Thank you so much for the reviews! They mean so much to me, guys! Thank you! So this chapter is just a fill-in basically so if ya don't like it, that's why. But don't worry I have a semi-idea for upcoming chapters:)**

**Special Thanks To:**

**NataONE**

**Chicky**

**SmilesSaveLives**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night series or its magical characters:'c**

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_**Rephaim**_

After that, his eyes decided to flutter open. He didn't move. He couldn't. He was too shocked to even try.

What was it he just saw? A memory? Or was it a desperate dream of his father? It was hard to tell. Everything seemed so real yet...not. Even if it was a memory, Rephaim didn't remember it at all.

_Maybe it is a forgotten memory_, Rephaim sighed. _It seems logical enough. At the time I would have thrown my life away to please Father so if something did not, it makes sense that I would have tried to put it out of mind_.

But... His father... Rephaim had never known of his father displaying concern for anything. Especially his sons.

_Usd-ta-tsu-wa_... The sound of the immortal's hushed words drifted around in his head, putting his jumbled mind at ease. He could remember the night back when he was blessed with his human form, how Kalona had looked so hurt and shocked by Rephaim's words. The emotions had been so quick and unexpected that he had thought he had only imagined them at the time. Then there was that single white feather that had drifted down from the sky in which Kalona had bolted himself into that had captured Stevie Rae's full attention.

What if there was still hope for his father yet? Could he go back to the old Nyx's Warrior he used to be? For him, his favorite son? And, maybe, be the father Rephaim and his brothers had always secretly dreamed of?

Rephaim couldn't help but feel his chest tighten with deep longing and his heart flutter with renewed hope. _Maybe this is a sign_.

Beside him, he felt movement, the thick blanket covering him slid across him, closer to the sleeping Stevie Rae. She mumbled something inaudible, one of her hands reaching out and sliding down his arm until it met his hand. He gently wove their fingers together, gripping her hand tighter.

Careful not to wake her up, Rephaim turned so he was on his back looking down at her. She appeared to be troubling over something, her eyebrows almost emerging together, her nose wrinkled in dissatisfaction. Stevie Rae inched closer to him, lifting her head to lay on his chest. Even sleeping, she was still willing to get closer to him than anyone else would even dare to try.

No matter how long he lived, Rephaim knew he would never understand why Stevie Rae had chosen him above anyone else. He would never understand why she acted as though _she_ were the lucky one in their relationship. He didn't mind not understanding though. That was part of the reason why he loved her so. She always kept him wondering what she was going to do next.

Smiling, Rephaim slowly bent so his lips pressed into her soft hair. The scent of freshly cut strawberries filled his nose.

He laid there with her asleep, his hand gripping hers tightly, his face buried in her golden curls. He listened to the soft, rhythmic pounding of their synchronized heartbeats, synchronized by their Imprint. Rephaim took in the warmth of her body against his under the comforter, relaxing completely. In the silence of the room, Rephaim tried to breathe as shallowly as he could just to hear her deep, drowsy breathing.

Dawn was quickly on its way when Rephaim decided it was time that he headed above ground. He slowly pulled himself out from under the blanket and Stevie Rae, carefully tugging his hand from hers, and kissing her forehead before getting dressed. He had just pulled on his jeans and was ready to head out of the room when she moved.

"Rephaim?" Her sleepy voice whispered, calling out to him.

"Shh, lay back down, love. It is almost dawn." Rephaim adjusted the blankets so they were laid evenly across her.

Stevie Rae sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Is it already?"

His heart ached. "Yes, it is. Now, lay back down. You must go back to sleep."

"Wait," she stopped his hand from fixing the pillows behind her. "I've got a question."

He looked at her, curious. "Yes?"

"What does _usd-ta-tsu-wa _mean?"

Her question jolted through him. _How could she know? _he wondered. How could she know about the loving name his father had called him in his dream? Rephaim paused, staring at her. Her eyes were still closed but she was still sitting up.

"Rephaim?"

The prickling of the feathers underneath his skin, poking to get free, made him blurt out the answer.

"It means baby raven."

To this, she opened her eyes. "Oh."

"Now, I must leave, Stevie Rae. I will return at sunset." Rephaim kissed her lips gently, holding her face in his hands. When he pulled back, Stevie Rae was gazing at him adoringly.

"Alright. I'll miss ya, Rephaim."

He broke into a joyous smile. "As I will miss you, Stevie Rae. Get some rest."

Rephaim waited until she was laying down, snuggled under the blankets, before he left.

How could she know?

Did she possibly hear him mutter something in his sleep? No, that wasn't it. She was the one who had fallen asleep first during their movie. Then, how?

_The Imprint_...

Could it be? Could their Imprint possibly link their dreams together? Gods, he did not know. He was not well acquainted to the rules of Imprints, nor did he want to be.

Rephaim was out of the tunnels just as the first wave of agony hit him, making his back arch, though he did not make a sound. He had learned to swallow back the screams and cried of pain the first time when Stevie Rae had joined him.

The pain slowly began to dull as the sun poked out from behind the horizon, his thoughts fading away, his memories evaporating, his feelings dissolving. He took to the sky, the sunbeams glistening off of his dark feathers as he flapped his wings. The cool early morning wind brushing up against him was all he could remember that coming night.

. . . . . .

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**I hope ya guys like it:) A little sweetness in there always makes a good chapter:) So please review:) Tell what ya think, what ya love, what ya hate, anything:) I won't mind whatsoever:)**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Stevie Rae_**

Waking up before sunset was always difficult for her. She never felt one hundred percent until the massive fiery orb disappeared for the night. The only reason she did wake up early was for Rephaim.

But, today was different. She didn't wake up early like she usually did. Instead, she was still snoring, and maybe drooling a little, in bed when he came in.

She must have been only partially asleep, caught between the realm of dreams and the sick reality of life, because she could feel his strong arms curl around her. They were warm and she felt even warmer when he pulled her to him gently. She also felt his lips press against the top of her head.

Sighing, Stevie Rae rolled over, stretching. Her arms and legs pushed outwards, her arms through the empty space by his head.

"Are you awake yet, love?" His voice was hushed and soothing.

Instead of catching her attention and waking her up further, she wanted to go back to sleep to the sound of his voice and the security of his arms around her. There was nothing she longed for more than to wake up to him every day.

"Sadly," she murmured.

He laughed, his warm breath tickling her neck. "Why sadly?"

"Because, I don't wanna go to school today and be away from you. It sucks that we don't have the same classes."

"It does, but I do not think I would be any good in Intro to Music."

This time it was Stevie Rae who laughed, but it quickly died when Rephaim asked:"Why did you ask my what _usd-ta-tsu-wa _meant, Stevie Rae?"

Stevie Rae hesitated. "I, uh, kinda heard it in a dream I had."

He shifted slightly so he loomed over her, his face wondering. "What was your dream about?"

"I dunno. I guess I can't remember."

"Then how were you able to ask me that question last night?"

"I just woke up from it, that's how."

Rephaim frowned, shaking his head in disappointment. "You are an awful liar, Stevie Rae."

Before she could stop herself from giving herself away completely, she sat up with a shout,"I am not!"

"I shall believe that when I see it."

"Ya can't see lies, Rephaim. It ain't possible."

He smiled knowingly at her. "And that is how you are a bad liar. Your lies are easy to see through."

Her eyes narrowed at him. Sometimes it just wasn't fair how he could just _tell_ things about her.

"Now, tell me what your dream was about exactly."

Slowly and carefully, Stevie Rae admitted her dream to him, how she actually experienced a past memory of his. She watched as his face went from curious to shocked to confused and unsure.

Rephaim leaned back when she was finished, staring up at the low ceiling. He hadn't spoke a single word when she confessed to him what she witnessed.

"Rephaim?"

"Yes, Stevie Rae?" He glanced at her.

She tugged on the bottom of her pajama shorts, feeling a little too exposed underneath his gaze. "Are ya mad at me?"

He blinked at her. "Mad? Stevie Rae, I have no reason to be mad at you."

"But I kinda intruded on somethin' personal that didn't concern me."

"Everything," he smiled warmly at her,"concerns you."

His words relaxed her, but only a little. Only a little because that dreadful confusion about Kalona and whether he could truly be persuaded back to Nyx's side overwhelmed her. But, so did that nawing, aching feeling of fear that Kalona may, once again, hurt his son.

"I think," she began, swallowing back her fear. "I think I need to say you somethin' to you, Rephaim. And I promise you prolly ain't gonna like hearin' it much."

Rephaim hesitated, looking at her as if staring into her eyes would help him decide on whether or not he should let her tell him. Then he nodded slowly.

"This dream-I don't know if it's a sign or what, but I don't want you gettin' your hopes to high about your daddy. I don't think he's gonna turn back, Rephaim. I honestly don't."

There was another silence. Rephaim was glaring off into a corner of the small room, his eyebrows forming creases in his forehead. His fingers curled into fists and unclenched.

"I disagree, Stevie Rae."

Shocked, she blinked at him. He sounded so calm and quiet that she almost didn't understand what he had said.

She pushed back a springy curl from her face. "I'm not tryna hurt your feelin's or pick a fight with you. I just want what's best for you."

"Not everything will be good for me, Stevie Rae. There are somethings that are going to happen that _will_ hurt me, no matter what, and sometimes there isn't anything you can do about them." He closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath.

"Well, it won't hurt if I try to do somethin' about 'em."

"No, it won't, but what's the point if all you are doing is wasting your breath?"

Frustration stirred inside her chest. "Look," she said sternly. "Kalona is a bad guy. He has done awful things, Rephaim. He has put you through so much that no one should ever hafta go through. I just don't want you to make the same stupid mistake in trustin' that damn daddy of yours again."

"Stevie Rae, was it not you who once told me that I should be the one to make my own decisions?" His words were clipped and hard, just as hers had been.

"Yes, but-"

"But, nothing. I am doing this for myself and myself only. If I get hurt in the process then so be it. But at least I know that I did not give up on my father."

Why didn't he understand how much crap he was putting himself through? Kalona was a good for nothing moron who didn't know crap about caring for someone!

"Why can't ya see how hopeless this is, Rephaim?! He is hopeless! He ain't gonna turn good again! There isn't any good left inside of him!" Her face was heating up, and, with each word she spoke, her voice grew louder and louder. She was now standing on her knees on the bed, her hands flailing around her desperately.

He sat up, his eyes burning in anger and annoyance. "You don't know that, Stevie Rae! You do not know him as I do! Have you spent centuries with him and watching him question everything he does? No, you haven't!"

"No, I haven't. I haven't been with him for centuries when he killed and raped people and abused his sons and put them through hell!" Stevie Rae hurled herself off the bed and began getting ready for school.

"Those things are true, but he used to be Nyx's Warrior. He protect the goddess, he served her, kept her realm safe! He even _loved_ her, Stevie Rae! He still does!"

She had had enough. It was too early in the morning to be fighting about his damn daddy.

Biting her lip, Stevie Rae shot him a glance over her shoulder. Then, very quietly, she muttered,"You're stupid just like your father." With that, she headed to the showers, brushing back tears the whole way there.

* * *

**How was it? It was pretty intense to write them fighting:) I just hope it has the same effect when you guys are reading it! So please tell me what ya think:) Tell me what ya liked, what ya hated, anything:) I'm all ears:) Oh, and check out my new story ****_A Changed Man_****:)**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys:) I'm on ****_FIRE_**** today:) I can't believe all these chapters I'm writing! It was like a lightning bolt of awesomeness came and struck me on the head while I was sleeping!**

**Special Thanks To:**

**SmilesSaveLives**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night series or its dramatic characters! It all belongs to both P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

* * *

**_Shaunee_**

Shaunee was just walking back down the tunnel that was lined with bedrooms from her shower when she heard yelling. It was quite loud, too. So loud that she could hear every word clearly.

She knew that it was none of her business and she was just about to walk faster until she recognized the voices. It was Rephaim and Stevie Rae.

_What could they be fighting about that would make them so damn loud? _she thought to herself. Whenever she saw the two of them together they were always so caught up in just _being together _that they never seemed to argue about anything. She envied them. They've been through so much together and it was unbelievable that Stevie Rae had kept that all to herself for so long. Shaunee knew she, herself personally, would have cracked eventually.

Hearing them fight was something that worried her, made her extremely concerned. They both sounded absolutely furious with each other. It was known by everyone that Stevie Rae had a temper, but she didn't know Rephaim to be so vocal. Of course, she didn't know him well enough to know too much about him like Stevie Rae. But, it was kind of obvious that he would have one as well, considering his past as Kalona's favorite son and also being a deadly Raven Mocker.

Curious, Shaunee inched closer, pressing herself against the wall, until she was outside their room. She built up the nerve to peek through the crack of the checkered blanket that served as a door to the room.

Stevie Rae was sitting on her knees on the bed, her hands wildly gesturing everywhere, her face beet red. Rephaim was on the other side of her, sitting straight on the edge of the mattress, his hands folded into fists. Shaunee could see he was trying desperately not to say something he shouldn't. Stevie Rae, on the other hand, was completely losing it.

"Why can't ya see how hopeless this is, Rephaim?!" She hit a pillow laying close to her in frustration. "He is hopeless! He ain't gonna turn good again! There isn't any good left inside him!"

"Shit," Shaunee whispered under her breath. She knew they were talking about Kalona, no doubt.

"You don't know that, Stevie Rae! You do not know him as I do!" Rephaim was shaking his head back and forth. "Have you spent centuries with him and watching him question everything he does? No, you haven't!"

Shaunee saw it then. She saw Stevie Rae preparing to let out all the anger and hatred she had for his father out on him.

That won't do anyone any good, Stevie Rae!

Shaunee screamed in her head. _You're just gonna piss him off_.

Stevie Rae stood and stomped towards a little white dresser, ripping open drawers and pulling out clothes. "No, I haven't. I haven't been with him for centuries when he killed and rapped people and abused his sons and put them through hell!"

Some of the tension went out of Rephaim at the truth of her words but it came back when something hit him. "Those things are true, but he used to be Nyx's Warrior. He protected the goddess, he served her, kept her realm safe! He even _loved _her, Stevie Rae! He still does!"

Stevie Rae went very still, her body rigid with annoyance. She turned her head to the side, throwing him a glance over her shoulder. What she said utterly shocked Shaunee.

"You're stupid just like your father."

And that was when she started heading towards the door.

Shaunee gasped and took off back down the tunnel a good few yards and started walking back up it, slowly. Stevie Rae shot out of the blanket like a torpedo in the water. Her eyes were bright with heartbroken tears that dripped off her face like liquid diamonds.

"Hey, Stevie Rae," Shaunee tried as best as she could to be nonchalant. "What's wrong?"

Her blonde curls side to side as she shook her head rapidly, keeping her face down to hide the tears. "N-nothin'. I'm just fine."

With that, Shaunee just let her go. She knew how to take care of herself. Besides, if she needed help she would ask for it. There was no reason for Shaunee to waste her breath in asking her if she needed something she didn't want.

. . . . . .

* * *

**Alright, alright. I know this one was like ****_waaaaay_**** shorter than the other chapters but I just ****_HAD_**** to throw Shaunee in there! She is way better without prissy Erin. Ugh:P SO Read and review:) Hope you guys like it:)**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	6. Chapter 6

**I have returned with the sixth chapter! I am sorry it took me so long but I've been a busy bee today! I might upload more chapters later today but I am not so sure so don't it against me if I don't:)**

**Special Thanks To:**

**NataONE**

**Guest**

**and**

**SmilesSaveLives**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night Series or its terrific characters! It belongs to P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

* * *

_**Stevie Rae**_

She finally let the tears run free once the water was on. She let the water pounded against her back, hot and soothing. The steam came instantly, billowing up in the small shower stall and out under the old curtain, into the open air. The smell of her strawberry shampoo was thick and wrapped around her like a warm blanket.

Stevie Rae cried. She didn't care how loud she was or about the snot that dripped from her nose and made it hard for her to breathe in the heavy steam. Her heart was breaking. It seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

_You'd think I'd be used to it by now_, she thought sarcastically. _That's all it's been doing. Breakin'...breakin'...breakin'..._

Breaking over the same thing, the same person. But, this time, it was her fault. If she had just kept her mouth shut about his daddy, none of this would have happened. She should have known this was going to happen, that this would have turned into an argument. But, no. She decided to wing it anyway and try to convince him otherwise. Funny thing was that she knew that he was stubborn, too stubborn for words sometimes, and that no matter what she had to say, he wasn't changing his mind.

"I'm the one who's stupid," Stevie Rae whispered around a wet hiccup. Her chest was heavy with despair, her shoulders shook with her desperate sobs.

She should have known.

Now, what was going to happen to them? Sure, they had a few arguments here and there but they were usually quickly defused with a kiss or an apology. She doubted a kiss would fix this mess she made. And she knew Rephaim was not one to apologize for something he truly believed in. For that, she respected him for it. It was one of the reasons she loved him so.

_What if he leaves me for him? Then what'll I do?_

"Stevie Rae?" A voice called to her.

It was Zoey. She must have come up for her morning shower, too. As much as Stevie Rae loved her BFF, she didn't want to see her right now. She didn't want to see anyone right now actually. She wanted to be left alone to bawl like the immature baby she was.

Swallowing back her useless tears, Stevie Rae stayed silent, hoping Zoey would either leave her alone and take her shower or realize that she wasn't there and take her shower.

"Shaunee told me, Stevie Rae. She said you and Rephaim were fighting but she wouldn't tell me what about. If you want to, we can talk about it. I can try to help," Zoey sounded hesitant and unsure. There was the sound of pit-pattering of bare feet against the bathroom tiles, clattering of the shower curtain being pushed and pulled back, and squeaking of the nozzles being turned, followed by pounding water.

Stevie Rae finished up with her shower, and dried off. Should she talk to Zoey? Maybe she needed help but what if Z didn't understand? What if Zoey thought Rephaim was still bad inside and try to convince her to leave him?

_No_, Stevie Rae shook her head. Zoey wasn't like that. She knew that her BFF would try her hardest to try to help any of her friends.

_Maybe I should talk to Zoey, but not right now. We have to go to school first, but after I will._

Stevie Rae walked out of the bathrooms and headed to the kitchen, trying not to think about Rephaim.

. . . . . .

Rephaim

Self-loathing never seemed to be too far away from him. It was always waiting in the shadows of his mind, taunting him about his past. But, instead of his past, it was reminding him of something even worse.

He had made Stevie Rae cry.

He had made her run from him, crying so brokenly that Rephaim wanted to join her. Her despair yelled at him, even as she took her shower. That was when her tears were the strongest. She had given in to the sorrow and pain he had caused her to suffer from and broke down completely.

And he hated himself for it.

What was he to do if he lost the one thing he loved most? The one thing that loved him back? Gods knew he didn't know. What would his world be if she turned from him completely because of the lingering hope for his father?

_A dark depth of my never-ending despair_, he thought bitterly. He, himself, wanted to cry as well but he knew it wouldn't do any good. Weeping never solved anything, it never had.

What solved the problem he created was apologizing. Rephaim winced. He was never good at apologizing. It was awkward for him, different. He knew he should, but he couldn't think of a reason as to why he should. Yes, he had made her cry from his words, but he hadn't lied to her, he hadn't called her names or anything awful. He had yelled at her, though, out of anger of her words and lack of belief in Kalona.

Was it truly terrible of him to still wish for the best of his father? To still dream of him coming to his senses and being a real father?

Rephaim didn't think so.

He sighed, sticking another mouthful of cereal into his mouth and chewing absently. He was in the kitchen at one of the many small wooden tables. He had taken his shower earlier before he had went to Stevie Rae's room when he didn't see her outside.

Sitting with him was Damien. The boy was usually nice to about everyone but lately he had seemed to grow on Rephaim. He didn't mind the boy's company, he was pleasant to talk to. He was careful and kind about what he said and how he said it. Damien often came and talked to him, without being asked.

At the moment, he was rambling on about watching another episode of _Glee_ when they get back from school. Rephaim had tried to watch it for Damien's sake with Stevie Rae but all the singing gave him a headache. Other than that, it was alright.

_I should just apologize anyway_, Rephaim thought to himself as he rinsed out the bowl and placed it neatly in the dishwasher. _I should not have yelled at her like I did to begin with_.

"Hey, are you alright, Rephaim? You seem more distant than usual." Damien cocked his head to the side and peered at him.

He was just about to tell him that he was fine, just distracted, when it died on his lips. He wanted to talk to someone about his and Stevie Rae's fight and none of the other fledglings had exactly grown comfortable enough around him yet. Plus, there was no doubt Stevie Rae was probably talking to Zoey about it. Why couldn't discuss it with Damien?

Sighing again, Rephaim took the seat next the boy. "Stevie Rae and I had a bit of a...disagreement, I suppose."

His eyebrows rose at the news. "You guys are fighting?"

Rephaim glanced away, nodding vaguely.

"That's odd. You two don't usually argue much over stupid things like other couples do. What was it about, if you don't mind me asking?" His voice was soft and caring, truly wondering what was bothering him.

"No, I do not mind telling you." Rephaim looked around the kitchen to see the other kids running around and searching the cupboards. No one seemed to be listening so he continued. "I-had a dream yesterday, right before dawn. We had fallen asleep watching a movie. It was about my father, but it wasn't just a dream per say. It was more like a memory. I was younger, maybe seven years old at the time, when the memory had taken place. Stevie Rae had the same dream I did. She had told me that even though in the dream my father had shown kindness towards me that I should not think too much about it, that he was not worth saving."

Damien nodded, understanding the situation so far. "But you don't think so?"

"How could I not? He is my father, Damien. I have spent most of my life with him. It is hard not to love someone dearly after being with them for so long and then expect yourself to completely forget about them."

"I see where you're coming from. But, Rephaim," Damien looked at him with round brown eyes. "You do realize that Stevie Rae just wants to make sure you don't hurt yourself over Kalona, right?"

Rephaim nodded impatiently. "Yes, I do. I understand her reasoning perfectly. It is just difficult to not want him to become a better person. I still hope that one day he will understand all of the things he has done, to himself and to others, and fix his ways."

The boy stayed quiet for a few minutes, thinking of what he was going to say next. "Alright. I can see why you would. He's your dad and you want him to be there for you. Right?"

Rephaim blinked. "Yes, I just wish that Stevie Rae could understand this as well as you do."

"Well, Stevie Rae never had family issues growing up. Her parents were always there for her. Whereas, your mother had passed away and your father is a bad guy."

"Then, how can you relate to me so well?"

"My parents never did like the fact that I'm gay. They expected more from me so I guess that's how."

Rephaim let this sink in. Stevie Rae had told him about Damien being gay and what being gay meant. At first it had shocked Rephaim but he soon got over it. You had to do whatever made you the happiest.

"Thank you, Damien."

Damien rose both of his eyebrows. "What for? For having messed up parents, too?"

"No," Rephaim shook his head. "For understanding and letting me have some of your time to talk to you."

"Oh. You welcome, then." Damien smiled., getting a smile in return.

"So, what are you going to do about bumpkin, birdboy?"

Shocked, Damien and Rephaim looked up at Aphrodite. She came and took a seat with them.

"I have not the slightest clue," Rephaim muttered, disliking how the Prophetess had eavesdropped on their conversation without him knowing at all.

She snorted and flipped her hair. "Better come up with something quick. She doesn't look too good." Aphrodite looked over Rephaim's shoulder.

Curious, he followed her gaze to see Stevie Rae and Zoey talking quietly as they ate. Aphrodite, though Rephaim hated to admit it, was right. Stevie Rae did not look good whatsoever.

Her eyes were red and puffy but she was no longer crying. Even from where they sat, Rephaim could see how painful it was for her to eat and talk.

_My fault_, he turned back around and stood. _It is my fault that she suffers_. Then, without a word, he walked out of the kitchen, heading outside into the night air to wait for their day at school to begin.

. . . . . .

* * *

**Tell me what you think:D I just _love_ Damien:) He is such a sweetie and I almost just died of an aneurism when Jack was murdered and Damien cried his eyes out. I just wanted to turn into the Incredible Hulk and kill Neferet myself. XP So, getting off topic:), read and review please! Tell me what you like, love, dislike, hate, whatever you want! I'm _ALL_ ears:)**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello guys:) How are you? I am here with lucky Chapter 7:) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) I had a rough time writing it and you will see why:)**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night Series or its unique characters! It belongs to P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

* * *

_**Shaunee**_

It was weird. It was weird seeing them together after she had listened and watched them fighting. When they all loaded onto the bus for school, they still sat together. Stevie Rae kept her eyes glaring out the window the entire time, holding back tears. Rephaim had his head bowed, his hands fisted on his knees.

After seeing Stevie Rae run out of their room, crying, Shaunee had went out to find Zoey. After all, Zoey and Stevie Rae were best friends.

She had told Zoey how they had been arguing and that she should talk to Stevie Rae about it, but she was smart enough to keep what they were arguing about to herself. It was their business to share, not hers.

It seemed like Z had talked to her because Stevie Rae looked a little better after she had last seen her.

But, it wasn't Stevie Rae she was worried about. It was Rephaim. He didn't have many people to turn to when he was troubled with something. He had only Stevie Rae now since he swapped sides. Before, he had Kalona and his many brothers to confide in.

When they all exited the bus, she kept a close eye on them both. Again, she was surprised to them walking together, not holding hands like they always did. They were walking so close to each other that their arms still brushed against each other.

"Can you see that?"

Shaunee turned and saw Shaylin staring after them as well. Her eyes were glazed over, closed half way as if she were studying something.

"Can I see what?" she asked.

"They're linked together. That's why they aren't able to stay away from each other." She blinked, turning back to look at Shaunee.

"Well, duh, they're linked. They're Imprinted," Shaunee told her but she was already shaking her head.

"I know that, but that isn't what I meant."

Shaunee sighed. "Then what did you mean?"

"I meant that their souls are bound together. She's tied to his humanity. Literally." Shaylin glanced back at them.

"Literally?" She shook her head in confusion. "What do you mean by 'literally'?"

The girl bit her lip as if trying to decide how she was going to say something. "Um, well, I can literally see this silver chain connecting them. Inside everyone I can see this silver orb that is surrounded by their true colors. I can see their colors, too, but there's a chain connecting their souls."

"Oh," Shaunee whispered. Shaylin was a weird kid, nice but weird all the same. She wasn't exactly great at explaining peoples' colors and what they meant.

Shaylin left her, confused and wondering, to walk up ahead. Shaunee, on the other hand, was staying back. She needed some time to think.

. . . . . .

**_Stevie Rae_**

Agonizing. It was completely agonizing to be so close to him. Everything about him seemed to call her to him: the way he breathed, the way he walked, the way he talked. Absolutely everything.

Sitting in class right next to him was even worse. Especially with Dallas talking loudly in the back of the class and Erin laughing like a complete skank. Usually, Stevie Rae would drown them out by talking to Rephaim, listening to him talk and laugh.

_His laugh_...

No. She wasn't going to start this. She was strong. He had to figure out by himself that Kalona was bad news. Kalona wasn't anything except bad, nothing about him was worth saving and Rephaim needed to get that through his thick skull.

In the corner of her eye, Stevie Rae could see Rephaim talking to Damien, casually. Did he even care that she was upset? Did he even care that she was on the verge of bawling in the middle of class because he didn't understand how hurt he could get if he kept hoping for the best in his father?

Stevie Rae sighed, her breath catching in her throat. She looked down at the paper Thanatos assigned to them and had given them extra time in class to work on. She had one, maybe two, paragraphs left to write. She sighed and picked up her pencil to begin writing.

The tip of the pencil had just made contact with the paper when she felt it. Felt the first tear roll slowly down her cheek and hang off her chin.

_No_, Stevie Rae wiped it away, biting her lip. _I just need to hang on until school is done. Then I can cry all the hell I want_.

But, that didn't seem to put an end to them. Another one dripped onto her paper, smudging the printed words. Another followed that one in hot pursuit. Then another and another...

Stevie Rae dropped the pencil on the ground with a loud clattering and jumped out of her seat, running for the door. Once she was out the door, she didn't stop. Not even the sounds of Zoey and Thanatos calling after her. She kept running. It felt good to run. The angry pounding of her feet against the ground fueled her tears. She was running with her tears flying behind her.

She couldn't take it. Being so close to him was killing her.

The bite of the cold wind made her stop. She stumbled forward, blind by her tears, and collapsed on a stone bench around Nyx's Fountain. Her hands covered her face as she bawled obnoxiously. The tears kept coming and coming.

_Why does love hurt so much? _Stevie Rae asked the stars silently.

. . . . . .

_**Rephaim**_

He should have ran after her. He should have apologized before they even got onto the bus. He should have just kept quiet when she told him not to hope for his father.

But he didn't.

He didn't run after her. He didn't apologize before they got onto the bus. He didn't keep his mouth shut when she told him his father wasn't worth it.

Instead, he made her cry.

He could feel each and every one of her tears. With each tear, he wanted to die. He was the cause of her pain.

_Why do I always cause her pain? _Rephaim pleaded the door she ran out of.

The bell rang for second hour and they all dismissed from Thanatos' classroom. Rephaim kept to himself for the rest of the school day. He didn't talk to or walk with Damien. He didn't go to the dining hall for lunch. Rephaim just attended his classes and walked aimlessly around the school building, cloaking himself with the shadows.

He came to the broken tree by the east wall. There, Rephaim sat down next to it, leaning against the rough stones that made up the wall, the rocks digging into his back. His eyes were drawn upwards, to the stars.

"Why does love have to cause so much pain?" Rephaim whispered to no one. The stars just gazed back down on him, sparkling like millions of diamonds surrounding the moon.

They reminded him of Stevie Rae's tears.

He started to count the stars, comparing them to how many tears he had made his love shed over him. He eventually lost count.

Somewhere between counting stars and thinking about her, Rephaim began to weep. He was tired of keeping it all in. Maybe it did help to let it out at times, but not in front of others. Then it wouldn't do any good.

His shoulders shook with grief as he pulled his legs up to his chest, trying to close in on himself. Sorrow made breathing difficult. He rested his forehead on his knees and welcomed the dark pit he had formed between his chest, legs, and arms.

It was all his fault. He couldn't find a balance between the father he wanted, oh, so dearly and the love of his life that he couldn't live without. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just be thankful for everything that he already had? He was human, he was in love and was loved back, he had a place to call his home. He should have been more than satisfied.

But, he wasn't.

And that was why he was causing Stevie Rae such despair and anguish.

. . . . . .

* * *

**Ohmygoodness... :'c I don't know about you guys but this is just sad! And I wrote it. I hade the scene in my head and writing was so hard because I had to get their POVs right and everything. :'c I really hope you like it. Please read and review:)**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	8. Chapter 8

**I have returned with Chapter 8! I hope you like it! This has been a huge idea of mine since I first started this FanFic!**

**Special Thanks To: **

**SmilesSaveLives**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night series or it's marvelous characters! They belong to P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

* * *

_**Shaunee**_

"We need to talk," Shaunee told Aphrodite, pulling her off to the side away from their group.

They had all been dismissed from lunch and were heading off towards their next classes.

"What the hell do you want? And let go of me. I know how to fucking walk by myself, thank you." Aphrodite jerked herself out of her grasp but followed her anyway.

"Do not tell me you don't know what's going on." Shaunee knew Aphrodite was a complete bitch but she didn't think she was stupid.

Aphrodite placed a hand on her hip and came to a stop. "That depends. What do you think is going on?"

"It's not what I think' it's what I _know_."

"Alright," Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "What do you _know_?"

Shaunee gave her a _are-you-freaking-kidding-me_-look. "Stevie Rae and Rephaim are fighting. And it's pretty bad, too."

"So?"

"So?! Is that all you've got to say? You can't stand there and tell me that it doesn't worry you in the damn slightest. As mean as you are to Stevie Rae, we all know that you, her, and Zoey are all close as shit." Shaunee felt like her head was going to explode off her shoulders.

Aphrodite sighed and looked off towards the night, thinking. Her cheeks were slightly pink from Shaunee's outburst.

"Look. I do care about bumpkin, alright? Goddess knows I do. But why should her relationship with birdboy concern me, or you for that matter?"

"Because, Aphrodite," Shaunee sighed, too. "Rephaim means a lot to her. Plus, he's one of us now which means he's one of our friends. That also means that we gotta help them out. They're either too stubborn or stupid, or _something_, to apologize."

Aphrodite flipped her hair over her shoulder. "And how do you suppose we help them out?"

"Well, for starters, we could find out why exactly they were fighting."

"Already know." Aphrodite looked like she was losing interest already, like a cat with a dead mouse.

"What?"

"Birdboy and Queen Damien were talking this morning and I saw that bumpkin was no where to be seen so I eavesdropped." She shrugged.

"And...?" Shaunee was seriously losing patience with this girl.

"Damn, would you just hold on for a fucking second? I didn't know it was against the damn law to breathe before I began another sentence."

"Aphrodite, for the love of Goddess! Get the fuck over yourself! This is serious! Now tell me what the hell happened."

The Prophetess stared at her in shock. "Fine. I'll tell you."

. . . . . .

_**Rephaim**_

They had just gotten back from the school when Aphrodite walked up to him.

"Hey, birdboy, what's up?" She began walking in step beside him as he strolled aimlessly through the tunnels, letting his feet carry him.

"What do you want, Aphrodite?"

"Hateful much? What if I was genuinely curious?" She faked being hurt by his words.

He gave her a doubtful look. "You usually want something. I would not be surprised in the least if talking to me somehow benefitted you at all."

Aphrodite shot him a spiteful glare. _There it is_, he thought to himself.

"Did it ever occur to you that I could be being nice?"

"No," he answered her honestly. "Like I said before: you usually want something."

"Fine. Come to the kitchen with me. I'd like to treat you to something nice." She took him by the wrist and began dragging him back down the tunnel, not giving him much of an option. He couldn't help but having a bad feeling about this. Especially from the evil glint in her eyes.

. . . . . .

Rephaim was having troubles seeing. Everything was fuzzy, colors merged together, and tilted side to side. Standing was difficult as well. He had to hold onto the counter for support and the glass in his hand for reassure that this wasn't a cruel dream. He felt himself sway sharply towards the left.

"Woah," Stark laughed in his ear, deafening him. "Steady, you don't want Stevie Rae to see you on the floor."

Everything was loud and it echoed obnoxiously. He yanked himself away from Stark when he heard him mention her name. Rephaim stumbled and caught himself on one of the tables.

_Stevie Rae_...

Her name was like a soft lullaby to his sore ears. An image of her instantly came to his mind at the sound of her name. She was so beautiful...so beautiful...

There was laughing but this time it was more feminine.

"Aphrodite?" A voice reminding him of Zoey called out, ringing loudly.

He took his hands off the table that was steadying him to shield his ears. He began to fall forwards when Stark caught him again by the elbows. He lead him over to a chair.

"Are you drunk?"

"No-oo-oo," the human Prophetess drew out the word, singing it instead of speaking it.

"Stark, what's going on?"

"I just came in here...found...almost fell..." The words were being cut out, Rephaim using his hands to muffle them out. He could still hear their voices but the words were lost.

His head was spinning and pounding, pounding and spinning, spinning and pounding. Rephaim felt sick to his stomach. His throat burned, his mouth was dry, his eyes were confused, his ears were sensitive.

He just wanted to see Stevie Rae.

Rephaim removed his hands from his ears and opened his eyes. He saw Aphrodite laughing hysterically on the floor, bottle held up in a toast. Zoey was screaming at Stark. She was gesturing towards Rephaim.

"...is gonna kill us! Do you have...she'll do?! Probably...Aphrodite first!"

Again, Rephaim was trying his hardest to cut them out. He forced himself to stand and took a step, swallowing back rising vomit.

_Stevie Rae_, he thought, _I have to see her_. He started stumbling forwards. _I have to apologize for everything_.

"Where do you think you're going?" Stark was suddenly in front of him, his hands on his shoulders. His presence was such a sudden shock to Rephaim that he jumped back, falling backwards onto the ground and shoving Stark away from him roughly.

Then, without a thought, Rephaim was up and running down the hall towards Stevie Rae's room.

* * *

**Alright! SO for those of you who are having a hard time understanding this chapter: Rephaim is drunk for like the first time in his life. And it is Aphrodite's fault. That's why he had a bad feeling about going with Aphrodite to the kitchen. And Zoey and Stark are freaking out over what Stevie Rae is going to say when she finds out Rephaim is completely wasted. So, I hope you like it! Please read and review!**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello-oo:) How is everyone today? Good? That's ****_GREAT _****because I've just uploaded Chapter 9!** **All of you guys have been waiting and waiting and ****_waiting _****for this:) Just to tell ya now so you don't, like, explode from a heart attack, they ****_DO_**** make up in this chapter:)**

**Special Thanks To:**

**NataONE**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the House of Night Series or its extraordinary characters! It belongs to P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

* * *

**_Stevie Rae_**

When they had gotten back from school, Stevie Rae immediately went to their room. It didn't surprise her when he didn't follow her like he usually did, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt.

She had grabbed a random book off the shelf in her room after she had changed into pajamas, trying to get her mind off of him. Reading was something she rarely got to do anymore. Since dying and Changing into a red vampyre, fighting Neferet and Kalona, fixing up and falling in love with Rephaim, and dealing with her red fledglings, she never had the time. It made her sad that she was always so busy. She had used to spend hours upon hours reading with a nice warm drink next to her and some of her mama's chocolate chip cookies, curled up in a ball somewhere nice and quiet.

_Maybe reading could distract me the way it used to_, she sighed heavily.

It seemed to work, at least to her it did. She was on chapter five in _The Hunger Games _when she heard it. Usually, if she was reading like she used to, there would have normally been music playing to set the mood, but she had completely forgotten about it. And that was why she was able to hear it.

The pounding of many feet. It was strange. There was a loud thud followed by screaming.

"What in the world?" She folded the top corner of the page and set the book down on her bed, slipping her feet into her comfy slippers.

When she poked her head out of the blanket, she was not prepared for what she was seeing.

Rephaim was being wrestled to the ground by Stark, his hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming. It surprised her how easily Stark was winning because usually Rephaim wouldn't go down without a fight, this she knew from experience. But, this time, he seemed like he had given up but he was still trying to scream something.

"What the hell are ya doin'?" she snapped at Stark, stomping towards them. As pissed and hurt and depressed as she was at him, it enraged her when Stark was fighting with him.

She shoved Stark off of him with one good push and looked down at Rephaim. He was gazing at her, his eyes blurry looking. There was something weird about him. He smelled different but familiar, too. He was sweating and his head seemed to sway side to side as if he were dizzy.

That was when she identified the smell.

"What the hell did you do to him?!"

Stevie Rae screamed, picking Stark up from the front of his shirt and began shaking the heck out of him. "You let him drink! How stupid are you?!"

"I didn't let him; it was Aphrodite!" Stark yelled back at her, his face pale.

"Why didn't you come and get me then?!" She stopped shaking him.

"Because, I just found him like that! Do you honestly think I'd let him without you knowing?"

Stevie Rae dropped him and pushed him away from her. "That didn't give you an excuse to tackle him like a dang football!"

"Zoey didn't want you to found out like this, that's why I did it. She wanted to tell you privately that way you didn't start flipping shit like a total spaz." Stark adjusted his shirt, giving her a dirty look, but she didn't care.

"Just-leave. You ain't got no point in bein' here right now. Just go," Stevie Rae sighed, wiping her face with her hands. Goddess, she was so stressed out!

"Fine," he shot back at her, stomping off towards the way they came.

Slowly, taking in a deep breath to keep herself in line, Stevie Rae turned to Rephaim. He was standing now, looking like he was gonna fall forward and pass out any minute. She never thought she could see eyes look so sad.

"Stevie Rae..." Rephaim whispered, taking a step towards her. He stumbled and would have fallen if she hadn't been as fast as she was.

She caught him, steadying him, and held most of his weight for him. He was heavier now than he used to be back when he was a Raven Mocker. His arm was draped around her shoulders, her arm keeping him standing up around his waist.

He was still looking at her when she helped him to her room and laid him down. He was going to need her help when the hangover hit him. He just looked so dang tired and sad that it made her want to cry.

"Just lay down," she told him, pulling back the covers and sitting him on the bed. "You need to get some sleep."

"I'm not-I'm not tired," he tripped over his words.

"Please. I want you to."

Rephaim stared at her for a long time before laying down under the blanket. It wasn't long until his eyes began to droop in exhaustion. She knew he was tired.

But, before he fell asleep, he locked eyes with her and whispered,"I'm sorry."

Those two words were said with so much love and guilt. It wasn't long until, after he had passed out, she had started to cry.

. . . . . .

_**Shaunee**_

She was searching for Aphrodite when she saw him. Rephaim was sprinting down the tunnel, stumbling over his feet. He bumped against the walls, shoving himself off of them as he headed for the ladder that lead to the aboveground. He looked frantic, as if he were afraid he wasn't going to get there in time.

Shaunee wondered what would happen if he didn't. She knew he turned into a raven at dawn but she didn't know much about it.

Rephaim let out a choked scream, hurling himself at the ladder and climbing quickly. His scream made the hairs on her arms raise. It sounded so agonized and frightened.

It was really strange, watching him stumble and scamper up the ladder. There was something off about him. Had him and Stevie Rae made up yet? She didn't know.

Shaunee set off after Aphrodite again, catching her and Darius just in time. Darius was carrying her as she laughed her head off, sloshing a bottle of vodka everywhere, soaking the front of his shirt.

Was she drunk? If so, why? She appeared to be heavily wasted, which was never a good sign.

"Hey," she called to them, catching their attention. She started walking towards them.

"Walk, walk, walk, walk," Aphrodite muttered to Darius, yanking on his shirt desperately.

He smiled down at her. "Why, my beauty? It is only Shaunee."

"That's why! She's going to kill me,"Aphrodite started panicking in his arms, wanting to get down.

"I honestly doubt that," he laughed at her, kissing her forehead.

"Why would I kill you? You talked to Rephaim right?" Shaunee was starting to get a bad feeling.

"Yeah..."

She paused. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! I didn't do anything!" Aphrodite screamed, throwing the glass bottle passed Shaunee's head where it crashed against the wall. Stevie Rae was going to kick her ass if she found that in the morning.

That was when she pieced it together. Rephaim stumbling, Aphrodite wanting to run away, her slinging the bottle of vodka across the room.

"What...did you do?" Her voice was like death.

"Not the plan, that's for sure."

"What!"

Shaunee freaked out. What had she done? Did she make Rephaim drink? Was he as drunk as she was? Had Stevie Rae seen him yet? If she did, hell was going to break loose tomorrow.

"He had it coming! He was being rude and unappreciative towards my fake niceness."

"Well, Goddess, I would be, too! But that doesn't give you the reason to get him drunk!"

"Stevie Rae can chill the fuck out. He's a big boy now; he can handle himself." Aphrodite shrugged her off.

"Yeah, he can, but did you at least warn him before?"

There was no answer from the drunk Prophetess.

"I'm taking that as a no." Shaunee turn and walked away, towards her room. She was so damn tired. She was always tired nowadays.

_Maybe everything will be better in the morning_, she thought hopefully.

. . . . . .

_**Rephaim**_

Transforming back from his raven form was as agonizing as it always was. But it frightened him. Everything was distorted. He laid behind the tree, his hands shaking as he dressed himself. Something hot and burning was forcing itself up his throat. He threw himself forward, throwing up into the nearest bush. It burned, making black spots dance across his vision. His mouth was dry and hot.

Tears sprung to his eyes. He remembered Stevie Rae seeing him the night before. Shame crashed down on him. She had seen him acting so foolishly, screaming like an immature infant. She had watched him stumbled and trip like the fool he was. He didn't understand why he had acted the way he did last night. He was fine that morning.

Rephaim wiped his mouth and his face with the back of his hand. He stood and walked carefully towards the entrance of the depot building, pausing every now and then to vomit. Slowly, he made his way down the tunnels, heading towards Stevie Rae's room.

He stepped through the blanket. She was asleep, her blonde curls poking out from under the comforter. Silently, Rephaim walked over to her side of the bed and dropped to his knees. She was so beautiful. Lately, she had been crying a lot, twisting her angelic features into something of a depressing beauty. But, sleeping, her face wasn't controlled by stress or overwhelming sadness. She was relaxed, content, at ease.

Rephaim wished he could feel that way.

Careful not to disturb her, Rephaim reached out and pushed back some of her hair, tucking it gently behind her ear. She sighed, her warm breath washing over him. His fingers rested lightly on her cheek, marveling at just being close to her and touching her. It had seemed like centuries since he had last touched her when, in reality, it had barely been half a day.

He knew he could stare at her for an eternity and would never tire of being near her. He would stare at her forever and ever, and he would have, too, if her eyes hadn't opened and landed on him.

Embarrassed, he withdrew his hand.

"Hi," she murmured, sitting up. "How are you...?"

"I have been better."

Stevie Rae nodded, laying back down and pulling the covers up to her chin. "You look exhausted."

Rephaim shrugged, masking his face to keep his emotions cloaked. They hadn't spoke since their fight, except for the incident last night but that didn't count...

Her voice was shy and hesitant when she said,"If you want, you can lay with me."

Rephaim blinked. Was she serious? Did she mean it? Rephaim didn't care if she did or not, he was already walking around to the other side, _his_ side, and crawling in with her. She lifted the covers as he slid in. He didn't touch her like he wanted. She was still upset and he would not touch her until she was happy or had at least forgiven him.

But, she made it difficult not to. Stevie Rae curled up next to him, laying her head on his shoulder and gazing up at him. She was so warm and soft that it made his fingers twitch to touch her.

Rephaim allowed himself to take her hand in his, and link their fingers together.

"I'm sorry, Stevie Rae."

"What for? I was the one who freaked out on you for no reason. You're suppose to have your own beliefs." Her eyes dropped to their hands.

He shook his head. "No, you were only looking out for me. I should have just accepted what you had to say, even though what you said might not be true."

Stevie Rae stayed quiet for a while, petting the back of his hand with her thumb. He didn't mind the silence though. It gave him an excuse to stare at her while she thought about what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry. He's your daddy and I know ya love him. I just don't want him to hurt you again but you hafta do what you believe is right." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I guess it ain't so bad to be wishin' for the good inside him to come back out. Just...be careful for what you wish for. Okay?"

Her words slowly melted into him, lifting the heavy weight of guilt and despair from his chest. She had miraculously forgiven him. She was already feeling better from his apology even though she had disregarded it. She had forgiven him. She wasn't upset anymore, she wasn't sad, she wasn't angry. She had forgiven him.

"Okay, Stevie Rae." Rephaim was unable to hold back his smile as he kissed her with everything inside him.

. . . . . .

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**Ohmygoodness! So what do ya think?! I know you're probably thinking,"Ohmigosh! Is she for real? THIS IS IT?! THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO THE FRICKIN' APOLOGY?!" But, no worries:) It's gonna get better for sure:) So, please read and review:) Thanks so much!**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I hope you really like this ****_last_**** chapter of Forgotten Memories:) I know, I keep cutting them off so soon, but I feel like I keep dragging them out and exaggerating what's going on. Don't worry, though, this won't be my last story. Then I'd be sad. :'c I just need to lock myself in my imagination somewhere and concentrate:) **

**Special Thanks To:**

**NataONE**

**Guest**

**and**

**SmilesSaveLives**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT, and sadly never will, own the House of Night series or its magnificent characters! It and they all belong to P.C. and Kristen Cast!**

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_**Stevie Rae**_

Stevie Rae smiled out of the joy and delight of being with him. Yesterday had been awful, long and awful. She still didn't like the idea of Rephaim wanting a better daddy but it was his decision. She loved him so she had to respect his decisions. She usually would openly embrace them and encourage him but Kalona had become apart of them now. So, instead, she was just waving on the side lines.

But she wasn't thinking about that right now. No, she wasn't thinking at all. Why would she anyway? Her and Rephaim weren't fighting anymore. They were together and always would be.

Rephaim kissed her and it absolutely took her breath away. His hand let hers that was holding his go to reach up and hold her face. His hands were warm and strong, holding her close to him. The kiss was sweet and loving, filled with every emotion they had for each other. Stevie Rae didn't want it to end.

But, too soon, he pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers.

His dark brown eyes gazed into hers adoringly. "I love you."

An unexpected giggle burst out of her. She didn't care, she was estatic that everything was better now. No more tears, no more harsh words, no more regretted actions. No more.

"I love you, too," she told him, grinning up at him. He returned her smile and drew her back to him.

High on love, Stevie Rae pulled him by the front of his shirt so he was on top of her. He laughed, its joyous sound filling her ears. She leaned back to look up at him, letting her hands touch his face, tracing his features carefully. He kissed her fingers when she followed the outline of his mouth with her fingers. Then he bent and pressed his lips to hers. Her hands moved up into his hair, twirling the dark strands. His hair was soft and thick between her caring fingers.

Slowly, tenderly, her hands moved to the back of his head, down his neck, over his broad, muscular shoulders, down the slope of his back, to the edge of his shirt. He sighed against her lips.

Reluctantly, Rephaim pulled back and sat up and removed his shirt. Stevie Rae yanked him back down, laughing with him. She couldn't get enough of him.

. . . . . .

_**Shaunee**_

"I can't wait to see Stevie Rae kick your ass," Stark told Aphrodite with a cocky grin. Him and Zoey were eating breakfast at one of the tables in the kitchen while the fledglings that were running behind their usual schedules dashed around.

"Please," Aphrodite waved his comment away, struggle with the top of the champagne bottle. "Bumpkin won't do shit to me."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that. You should have seen her when she found him. You could have sworn someone was throwing acid on a puppy by the way she was acting. She nearly killed me before I could tell her what I knew." Stark shook his head. Shaunee noticed how his face had drained some of its color but the smile stayed in place.

"Like I said: she won't do shit." Aphrodite paused to glare at the bottle. "How the fuck is this thing going to open? Pliers? Chainsaw?"

"Do you really think you should be drinking right now?" Shaunee spoke up. "From what I saw of you last night, you don't need it."

"Alcohol cures hangovers."

There was a sound of disagreement that came out of Shaylin. "No, it doesn't. Time does. Duh, you'd have to be stupid not to know that."

Aphrodite shot Shaylin a look, but the girl didn't notice. She was too busy grabbing something out of the fridge.

"I do not believe I was talking to you," Aphrodite sneered. Shaylin just shrugged.

"Anyway," Zoey chimed in before the Prophetess could take a swing at her,"where is Stevie Rae? I haven't seen her or Rephaim this morning."

There was a bunch of "I don't know" and "probably still sleeping" that rang out from several different kids.

"Do you think we should check up on her?" Zoey gnawed on her lip nervously.

Aphrodite took a sharp knife and was measuring the straightness between the blade and the top of the bottle. "No, leave her alone. Maybe she doesn't want to come to school today."

"That's because you're chicken shit. You don't want her to come down here and beat you up," Stark pointed out.

"Look, bowboy," Aphrodite pointed at him with the butcher knife. "I would not mess with me right now."

"Then, what about Rephaim?" Damien asked, finally swallowing the piece of peanut butter toast he had been trying to swallow and not choke on for the past ten minutes.

"Yeah...about birdboy..." Aphrodite was about to swing the knife at the bottle when Damien had spoken up. "He's pretty screw up right now."

"So, are we gonna go look for them or not?" Zoey shouted. Shaunee could tell she was on verge of bitch slapping everyone in the room.

"I said no," Aphrodite swung the knife as hard as she could. There was a loud crack and a fizzing explosion took place in her hands. "Ha! About damn time!" She held the bottle over a glass as it shot out of the new opening. The grin on her face was priceless.

"We should just leave them be to work themselves out. Relationships do tend to take time and patience for them to become perfect," Darius said and began to mop up Aphrodite's mess.

"Okay, if you say so." Zoey still looked stressed out.

"Don't worry, Z," Shaunee smiled at her. "Everything will be fine. It has to be."

"I hope you're right."

. . . . . .

_**Rephaim**_

This was better than flying. Loving Stevie Rae was better than flying. Especially with his father out of mind.

_Father has done terrible things_, Rephaim considered. _Should I really be hoping for something that might not even happen? Might not even withstand half of a chance of even happening?_

Stevie Rae kissed him, making his mind blackout temporarily. Her lips were the only thing he was focused on for the moment. His head was still a little dizzy and it made it hard for him to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. His eyes were also still weird. Stevie Rae appeared as if she were glowing, even though he knew that it wasn't possible unless she called her element. Plus, when she did, the glow was green, not a pure white.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear. The sound of her voice was perfect. It was sweet and loving, and quiet so it did not bother his ringing ears too much.

He beamed at her, nuzzling into her hair. "I love you, too." She laughed and cuddled into him, squeezing him in an adoring embrace.

_But, then, again, Father has given me life. If it were not for him, I would have never met Stevie Rae_, Rephaim forced himself to confront his unfortunate situation. Why was it that he was continuously forced into these things? He always had to pick between Kalona and Stevie Rae. He needed them both. It was useless trying to live without the other.

_But_, Rephaim continued to think, _he has done horrible, horrible things. No doubt he will do another one soon enough and I will have to deal with his mess_.

Stevie Rae ran one of her fingernails down his arm, calling him back to her. He couldn't say he was sorry to push his thoughts away.

. . . . . .

"You're still alive!"

A voice screamed at him.

He had been in the kitchen, pouring a glass of hot tea for Stevie Rae, smiling to himself. They had spent the whole day together, not even bothering to go to school. They had watched movies, talked, slept, but mostly, and Rephaim enjoyed this, stayed in each others' arms.

Today had his spirits so high that he could just close his eyes and picture the sky around him and it was even better than flying. He hadn't known such happiness was real until today. But, he was awfully tired still. And she was part of the reason. Whenever he was falling into a deeper sleep, she would wake up and demand for his attention. It wasn't hard to give her what she wanted. He liked focusing on her. It was just how tired and sore he was.

Rephaim jumped at the loud outburst, spilling the scolding hot tea down the front of him. He cursed loudly, causing several pairs of eyes to widen. He could understand why. He didn't talk much around people he wasn't entirely comfortable with, and to hear him shouted like he did, he was surprised their mouths weren't hanging open.

He looked up, annoyed and infuriated, to see Aphrodite looking relieved.

"We all thought couldn't handle it but you did! You pulled through, birdboy." She walked up and clapped him on the back.

Rephaim wasn't exactly the happiest person when it came to Aphrodite, especially what she had done to him.

"Don't touch me! You were the one who almost killed me with that _poison_ you made me drink!" He jerked away from her, shaking his head, and cleaned himself off. Picking up the cup, he placed it on the counter and re-poured the tea into it. _Stevie Rae better really enjoy this tea_, he thought irritatedly.

Aphrodite gawked at him. "I didn't make you drink it. You were stupid enough to put in your mouth."

Stupid?!

"You didn't tell me it was going to do. You lied to me and said that it helps with headaches. It did the complete opposite."

There was laughter from several fledglings, including Stark, that were still standing there, staring at them.

Aphrodite was about to shoot something back at him but Rephaim just raised his hand, cutting her off. "I do not want to hear it, Aphrodite."

Her face grew red as he walked away with the warm cup in his hand.

_One of the many things Father never did for me was give me a place where I feel like I truly belong_, Rephaim smiled into the cup as he pushed through the blanket of his and Stevie Rae's room.

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**You guys probably hate me right now. You hate me for ending it so short:( I'm sorry:) But I will have another story up soon enough. I just have to return to the dark corner in my imagination where all of my paints, crayons, markers, color pencils, and paper is and think something up:) I hope you guys like this chapter:) Please read and review:)**

**-RephaimStevieRae**


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